After hours of watching the red carpet, we filtered through the sea of gowns and came to one conclusion. THE FASHION SUCKED. Granted, there were some to-die-for pieces, but overall, these celebs seem to have forgotten the meaning of “haute couture” and rather opted for “no couture”. Take a look at some of the few looks that sizzled, and help us give citations to the rest of these hot messes. I can’t. I cannot. I refuse.

Meryl Streep: One would think that after 16 Oscar nominations, Meryl Streep would learn how to pick a dress. Clearly, she hasn’t learned jack. She looks like she dressed for her own funeral. I absolutely hate this dress. It makes her look older. This silhouette does not work for her body. She needs something that does not cover her up from head to toe. Casper the ghost much? SJP: She loved the dress. She seems to be the only one. Her publicist’s expression on the left basically sums up the rest of America’s feelings on this shit show. I absolutely hate it. Chanel never really works for the carpet and this is a prime example of why. The silhouette does not work. The jeweled embellishments do not work. She does not work. I can’t fathom why everyone thinks this woman is a fashion icon. This dress is a mess. Penelope Cruz: I’m just happy this chick’s not in black or a Cinderella gown. That being said, this gown is boring and troublesome for no reason. There is way too much fabric here. Penelope is gorgeous. Yet, this dress is wearing her and she’s not wearing it. There’s too much going on. It’s a flop. More >